So I had been feeling better… But then, a little mini-spiral into worse feelings began on Thursday. I missed my CBT, dragged myself to my pottery class and then crept home to my family. My weekend dragged on in a similar fashion, and on Monday I failed to do Important Things That Needed Doing – so I spent most of the day in bed.
Things have since improved again, helped very much by having coffee with a Shiny Understanding Friend – we can talk for hours and we help each other out :D. We discussed what I call the Evil Depression Monster – that sort of seeps bad thoughts into my mind, I feel like mine hopped back onto my shoulder, screaming:
‘Why do you want to do that? You’re fat already, you may as well eat the whole packet of biscuits! Huh, why can’t you do anything – you’re pathetic!!’ and so on it went, convincing me of how hopeless I am. But I won’t be hopeless forever, I hope.
Here’s to the end goal, when I can run free leaving the Monster to sulk by itself, Not On Me! This seems like a far away prospect, but depression is like travelling along a tunnel – and I hope to soon come out the other side a happier, stronger person. With a Happiness Monster on my shoulder instead?